How to Cope with Infertility Stress
Receiving an infertility diagnosis when you are trying to build your family is inherently stressful. It is important to empower yourself with some self-care strategies. Here are some tips of how to cope with infertility stress.
Prepare for Common Infertility Triggers
Baby showers, baby announcements on social media, walking past the baby section online, seeing pregnant bellies, holidays, starting your period… these all can be very triggering times for those trying to conceive. There are some triggers you can avoid (yes, you can politely decline that baby shower invitation for your coworker), but there are many infertility triggers that just exist in the world. Make a habit of exploring those triggers after they occur - what emotions came up for you? What was the general theme? What can do you do to take care of yourself or move through those emotions now or in the future?
Setting Boundaries
A boundary is essentially a request to another person & an assertion of how you’ll take care of yourself if they don’t honor that request. For example, you may set a boundary about how or where or with whom you want to talk about infertility updates. “I know you are asking because you care, but please don’t ask about IVF updates while we are at work. If you do, I’ll redirect or end the conversation. I am more open to speaking more candidly about how I’m doing when we go out to lunch or hang out on the weekend”. You may also need to set boundaries with yourself about about taking time off social media or resisting the urge to consult Dr. Google about every symptom. It’s important to set boundaries to help you feel safe and empowered.
Mind-Body Connection Practices
There is lots of evidence of the effectiveness of using mindfulness for our general wellbeing, as well as to reduce stress specifically during infertility (and per research, an increased chance of conception). Mind-body connection practices like mindfulness, meditation, breathing practices, affirmations, yoga, progressive relaxation, using humor, and visualizations are very calming to the nervous system and help reduce stress. These practices help increase perspective, tap into calm more quickly, and instill hope.
Take Care of Your Body
Infertility surfaces lots of hyperfocusing on your body - was that twinge an implantation cramp or am I about to get my period again? Plus if you’re seeking IVF or any fertility treatments, your body is undoing going a lot. It’s important to be gentle with your body. Make a practice of referring to your body with a pronoun rather than “it” to offer gentle and compassionate language “I’m so thankful for my body does for me, she is so strong”. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, exercising in any way that feels good, and feeding your body in a balanced way. Sleep, nutrition, and exercise are unsung heroes of mental wellness and often the first things that fly out the window when we are stressed.
Keep Living Your Life Now
It’s tempting during infertility to put your life on hold, to not schedule the trip because you might be pregnant by then. Or to put off buying that pair of pants because maybe you’ll be in maternity clothes. Yes, hold hope for your dream. And yes, book the trip, buy the pants. Don’t forget to keep enjoying the life you have now.
Find a Therapist that specializes in Infertility
The reality is, coping with infertility feels hard because it is hard. Anxiety and depression and grief are very common side effects of infertility stress. It’s okay, and empowering to ask for help from a therapist that specializes in infertility. If you need help coping with infertility stress, feel free to schedule your free 15 minute consultation today. I’m a therapist in the SF Bay Area that specializes in fertility issues.