Turns Out There Is a Magic Wand in Therapy!
I often say to clients, there is no magic wand in therapy. What you put into the process has a lot to do with what you’ll get out of it. While I absolutely still believe that is true, I do have to make an adjustment to that speech.
It turns out I do kind of have a magic wand. And it’s awesome.
Sh*tty First Draft
I recently had a scuffle with a friend that left me spinning. I felt consumed by it, it seemed every waking moment I was rehashing and replaying our conversation, trying to make sense of our argument. The more I tried to shake it, the more I found myself thinking about it. I became more and more anxious, unsure, and critical of myself. I felt a pull to smooth it over. Unconsciously, I went to an old, familiar story that my worth is dependent on whether people are pleased with me. My anxiety was oozing out of my shame exposed behind my likable, charming armor. In her research on vulnerability & shame, Brene Brown calls this reaction “The Shitty First Draft”. We all have a shitty first draft. It’s our knee-jerk, go-to story we tell ourselves when we feel vulnerable, shame, or fear. So how do we break the cycle?