Befriending Our Ugly Parts - Part II

Last week we talked about how to identify & befriend those unsightly reactions in us that we’d rather not have. Today we’ll dive a bit deeper, using imagery to foster deeper compassion & understanding. Get yourself comfortably seated, then slowly work through the questions below. You can mindfully walk through this imaginatively or journal through your responses.

See if you can get in touch with that part, whatever it is.

Notice how you feel towards it.

Notice how you experience it (is it an image, a color, a sensation, a memory?)

With compassion, be curious what its role or job is for you?

How long has it been doing that?

What is it afraid would happen if it didn’t do ___?

How old do you sense the part is?

How old does the part think you are?

What would it take for this part to trust you take over whatever task it does for you?

They may seem out of place, but take particular notice around the questions about age. When they take over, these parts can seem demanding and bossy, but turn out to be pretty young. You would likely respond differently to a 7 year old who is acting overbearing because they feel anxious than an adult who does the same. 

Similarly, the part often thinks we are much younger than we are. Of course the part is trying to take over if it assumes you’re only 14. I wouldn’t leave a 14 year old in charge, either! The reality is, you have more tools and expertise now than when you were younger. You’ve learned and grown and are now the adult that this part can learn to trust.

Next time this part takes over, imagine how you would respond to someone the same age. If this part feels about 13, imagine how you would respond to youth at church or your nice about the same age. Understanding what the part needs, act with compassion & assume the adult perspective and leadership you now embody.

Let me know how it goes!