Befriending Our Ugly Parts
The best way to manage those unsightly parts of ourselves is actually to befriend them. Yes, even that one you hate. Hating ourselves for a certain reaction rarely creates change.
“Parts” language comes from a therapy modality called Internal Family Systems. We can really get into the weeds on this, but the basic theory is that we all have many parts of ourselves that are performing different tasks for our overall good. The parts always intend well for us, even if their actions seem to backfire. Often these parts of ourselves are working to protect us in some way and fear that if they don’t do what they are doing (pleasing others, being critical, being a perfectionist, acting suspicious, etc.) that something bad would happen.
Setting Intentions for The New Year
A few year back, I wrote a blog post about claiming a word for your year. Unlike previous resolutions, this is a practice that I’ve maintained! But beyond my success rate, this tradition has surprised me in its impact. It’s even a practice that others have adopted & adapted for themselves. Beyond surface goals around weight or health, claiming a word or phrase for your year is a discipline of setting and honoring intentions. I’ve noticed this practice has anchored me and kept me mindful in a way other goals or resolutions have fallen short.
Playing Opposite Day with Depression
Remember when you were a little kid and you’d have opposite day? Whatever someone said to do, you’d do the opposite. This fun (sometimes annoying) little game may offer some insight into how to battle depression.
Stick with me here…
Depression is tough. During a depressive episode you feel down, hopeless, critical, unmotivated, tired. You desperately want connection and understanding with others, but you also want to stay in your bed watching Netflix and not see anyone at all. When you’re in a grounded place, you can battle the negative thoughts, but when you’re feeling depressed they sound so compellingly true.
Enter - Opposite Day.
Growing Healthier Through Self-Talk
Words are powerful. The Bible compares the power of words to a spark that can cause a wildfire (perhaps a metaphor too close to home for us Californians) or a small rudder than can control an entire ship. Whether our words are spoken aloud or only thought, they have a huge impact on our emotions and behavior. Self-talk is the pyscho-babble term for how we speak to ourself (fancy huh?). Whether we speak kindly or harshly to ourselves can have a big impact on how we feel and act.
How To Reduce Anxiety Through Rational Thinking
Anxiety is not always rational. In fact, one of the infuriating things about anxiety for super logical people is knowing that their anxiety “doesn’t make sense”, and judging themselves for not being able to stop feeling anxious. If you can park the self-judgment (unhelpful thinking styles of labelling, personalizing, or “shoulds”), logical thinking can be very effective in reducing anxious thoughts The key is to identify where your thoughts may be distorted, unhelpful, or irrational so you can replace them with more true thoughts.