10 Ways to Know You’re Done with Therapy

One of the most common questions I hear from people starting therapy is “How long do you think this will take?” While the specific answer to that question depends on quite a few factors specific to your scenario, this question gets at the crux of the importance of goal-oriented therapy.

I often tell my clients in my initial consultation call & first session that I believe if I’m successful in my role as therapist, I’ll eventually work myself out of a job. When we are successful, one day you’ll graduate therapy. To that end, it’s super important both client & therapist have a clear understanding of what success in therapy looks like in real, practical ways. That way, when we arrive there, we know it’s time to celebrate and send you on your way. Goal accomplished!

Here are some indicators it may be time to graduate therapy:

1. The original thing you came to therapy for no longer feels bothersome.

   Think back to why you made that first phone call - does that issue carry the same struggle, or has it dissipated? This may mean your anxiety or depression have decreased, you feel more confident in managing your emotions, your relationship is mending, you feel more confident, etc.

2. You’re successfully using your new tools outside of therapy

   The real magic of therapy is how you integrate that 50 minutes into the rest of your life. When you find you’re regularly using the tools you learned in therapy and seeing results, both internally and in your relationships, you’re successfully using your tools. When this is happening consistently, it may be time to see if you’re ready to graduate.

3. You are more self-aware

   Between sessions, you’re reflecting on your emotions, your needs, and taking action. Maybe you’re bringing your reflections & new actions to therapy rather than relying on therapy to gain those insights.

4. Self-care is woven into your routine

   In the beginning of therapy you needed your therapist to remind you to prioritize self-care, and remind you it isn't’t selfish. Now you’re integrating these self-care activities as staples in your routine on your own because they sustain you.

5. Your relationships are improving.

   You may be ready to be done with therapy when your relationships are improving, including your relationship with yourself. Perhaps others are commenting on the growth they see in you.

6. You hear your therapist’s voice guiding you outside of session 

   This sounds creepy, right? What I mean is that when I see clients doing the above things, I often hear them say “I was about to think or do _____, but then I thought, this is what Mackenzie would say to me right now.” This indicates you’re internalizing the world we’ve done in therapy and the hope, compassion, joy, etc. you originally had to borrow from me is now your own.

7. You have more resiliency

   Life can be challenging. Graduating therapy doesn’t mean more challenges won’t come. You may be ready to plan to graduate therapy when you notice your resiliency in managing challenges that previously derailed you.

8. You don’t always know what to talk about in therapy.

   When you’re meeting your therapy goals, you may find that by the time you get to session, you’re not totally sure what’s important to talk about. When this happens a few sessions in a row, it may be time to say goodbye.

9. You feel like you’re doing more catching up than work in therapy.

   Make no mistake, therapy can be work. If you just want to chit chat, save your money & go for a coffee date with a friend. But when you find therapy feels consistently more like chit chat than it does work, it may be time to wrap up.

10. You and your therapist agree - it’s time to graduate

    When you notice all of these changes, bring it up with your therapist. Best case scenario, you and your therapist know the goals you’ve set, routinely checked on progress in therapy, and start to see all of these shifts happening as a result. When both you and your therapist are in agreement, it’s definitely time to celebrate all of your accomplishments together and fly the nest.

If you are on the beginning end and considering starting therapy, and ready to begin some goal oriented therapy to make real changes in your life, schedule your free 15 minute consultation to start therapy in Dublin, CA today. Let’s reclaim joy together.