anxiety, communication, goals, gratitude, mental health, millennials, mindfulness, positive thinking, therapy, thoughts, women, young adults anxiety, communication, goals, gratitude, mental health, millennials, mindfulness, positive thinking, therapy, thoughts, women, young adults

Befriending Our Ugly Parts - Part II

Last week we talked about how to identify & befriend those unsightly reactions in us that we’d rather not have. Today we’ll dive a bit deeper, using imagery to foster deeper compassion & understanding. Get yourself comfortably seated, then slowly work through the questions below. You can mindfully walk through this imaginatively or journal through your responses.

Read More
anxiety, communication, depression, family, forgiveness, goals, gratitude, meditation, mental health, millennials, mindfulness, parenting, positive thinking, shame, therapy, thoughts, trauma, women, young adults anxiety, communication, depression, family, forgiveness, goals, gratitude, meditation, mental health, millennials, mindfulness, parenting, positive thinking, shame, therapy, thoughts, trauma, women, young adults

Befriending Our Ugly Parts

The best way to manage those unsightly parts of ourselves is actually to befriend them. Yes, even that one you hate. Hating ourselves for a certain reaction rarely creates change. 

“Parts” language comes from a therapy modality called Internal Family Systems. We can really get into the weeds on this, but the basic theory is that we all have many parts of ourselves that are performing different tasks for our overall good. The parts always intend well for us, even if their actions seem to backfire. Often these parts of ourselves are working to protect us in some way and fear that if they don’t do what they are doing (pleasing others, being critical, being a perfectionist, acting suspicious, etc.) that something bad would happen. 

Read More
anxiety, communication, depression, faith, gratitude, meditation, mental health, millennials, mindfulness, positive thinking, recovery, shame, therapy, thoughts, trauma, women, young adults anxiety, communication, depression, faith, gratitude, meditation, mental health, millennials, mindfulness, positive thinking, recovery, shame, therapy, thoughts, trauma, women, young adults

Growing Healthier Through Self-Talk

Words are powerful. The Bible compares the power of words to a spark that can cause a wildfire (perhaps a metaphor too close to home for us Californians) or a small rudder than can control an entire ship. Whether our words are spoken aloud or only thought, they have a huge impact on our emotions and behavior. Self-talk is the pyscho-babble term for how we speak to ourself (fancy huh?). Whether we speak kindly or harshly to ourselves can have a big impact on how we feel and act.

Read More
communication, goals, gratitude, marriage, mental health, mindfulness, parenting, positive thinking, recovery, shame, therapy, women communication, goals, gratitude, marriage, mental health, mindfulness, parenting, positive thinking, recovery, shame, therapy, women

All the Trophies

When I was in the bleary eyed state of being a brand new mom, I was convinced I would never successfully leave the house before 10am ever again. As I dove into this ever changing rhythm (and all the equipment that goes with it), I began offering myself mental trophies for any small, personal successes. Got somewhere within 20 minutes of the start time? Trophy! Showered? Trophy! Left the house? Trophy! Made it through a rough day? All the trophies!

Read More
communication, conflict, depression, family, gratitude, marriage, meditation, mental health, millennials, mindfulness, parenting, partners of sex addicts, positive thinking, recovery, shame, teens, therapy, thoughts, trauma, women, young adults communication, conflict, depression, family, gratitude, marriage, meditation, mental health, millennials, mindfulness, parenting, partners of sex addicts, positive thinking, recovery, shame, teens, therapy, thoughts, trauma, women, young adults

3 Ways to Battle Shame

If we slow down to pay attention, we see the many small moments our shitty first drafts fight for our attention. It can be as simple and subtle as the moment your spouse looked away from you when you came out in your new sweater for the first time (SFD: He thinks it looks bad on me, I’m not good enough), or the look that stranger gave you walking Lake Merritt (SFD: She heard what I said and is judging me), or the drop of your stomach when a group of coworkers make lunch plans without you (SFD: They don’t like me, I’m a tag-a-long). Once those everyday shame moments are in our awareness, how do we battle it?

Read More